Thursday, August 31, 2006

Thankful Thursday #2

Here are 10 things that I am grateful for this Thursday...

1. Hearing our baby's heartbeat at the doctor's office yesterday.

2. The really nice weather that we have enjoyed the past few mornings.

3. Not having "THE" class this year...the one that everyone who sees them comments " do you do it?" My class is actually pretty good.

4. My Bella Band !

5. Labor Day...or in my case...Non-labor Day

6. My husband's love

7. That Kathy and I are finally pregnant at the same time!

8. The faithfulness of the persecuted members of The Church.

9. Health insurance

10. Working fingers that could type this list

This list hardly covers it all, but it does remind me that God has been better to me than I deserve.

What are you thankful for?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

How Do You "Feel?"

Has anyone read the book "When I Don't Desire God" by John Piper? (I know book titles should be underlined, but I don't know how to do that) I pull that book off the shelf often because I find myself in a place like that more often than I would care to admit. What is worse than know ing you should pray, but being unable to even get one sentence out or sitting with your Bible on your lap and thinking, "Why don't I hunger for this like I ought to?"

One thing I have to remind myself of often is that my feelings cannot be the standard by which I measure my standing before God. There are so many times that I don't feel a darn thing. There is no warmth, no tangible reassurance, no spiritual consolation to rest on. I don't "feel" Him near me. I don't sense that I am even His. I hate times like that. But they are part of my exsistence. Sometimes God allows those who are His to have a palpable sense that He is near and to feel a real embrace of assurance of salvation and other times He withholds that. And during those times, I am called to trust. I am called to preach to my own soul and bring to mind all of the truth that He has sown in me. I am called to rest in His Word, not my emotions.

But I like to feel that assurance--the assurance that He is in me and I am in Him, the assurance that I am numbered among His own. He doesn't always grant that though.

So here's the deal (whether it "feels" like it or not): Christ does dwell within me. My comfort is found in His mighty grip on me, not my feeble grip on Him. There is more mercy in God than sin within me. He is with me. Simple truths like this are so easily forgotten. I need to hear the gospel preached to my wretched soul daily to remind me of what seems to slip out of my consciousness. I need to have my gaze lifted upward and off of myself and I what I feel or think or believe. I need to meditate on what God feels and thinks and believes as He has revealed it in His word.

If you read this and are my friend (and even if you're not,) pray for me. Not that I would "feel" the way I think a believer should, but that if God never grants another moment of assurance, that I would never cease to hope in Him.

Wednesday, August 2, 2006


We got to see our baby's heartbeat at our appointment on Monday. We were looking at the screen and I didn't see it at first so I had a brief freak-out moment. But then Liza, the nurse practitioner, pointed it out and I felt much better. The baby is measuring one week behind what the stupid, non-scientific, one-size-fits-all due date calculating wheel says but that is fairly common. Liza is going to let me come back next Tuesday and do another ultrasound...just to make sure the baby is growing properly.

So mid March is when we are expecting Baby Rives to make his or her debut. People have asked me if I want a boy or a girl. My standard response is "I just want a baby!" I will be thrilled either way!

Have I mentioned how much I love my husband? I truly do. More than I ever have. He is wonderful and I realize more and more how perfect he is for me. Just wanted to mention that :)

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