Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Oops I Did It Again

We were somewhere over Arkansas when I made the discovery. My first thought was that less-than-courteous TSA guy. I bet he did it. He was upset that I was traveling with multiple small bottles of premixed formula, which he had to individually test for bomb ingredients because those Al-Queda guys are notorious for their devious uses of Similac. He must have taken them out in his fury and "accidentally" forgot to put them back.

But then the thought that sometimes even I make mistakes crossed my mind. Could it be? Is it possible?

Did I really just embark on a cross-regional journey and neglect to...pack diapers and wipes? No...surely not.

I check my diaper bag again. Yogurt bites, formula, puffs, hand sanitizer, rubber mat that goes on the table, various other baby items that don't rank nearly as highly in importance as diapers and wipes do? Yes, all there. But no diapers. This could get messy.

Thankfully, Simeon was able to wear the diaper I put on him THAT MORNING until we were able to get to a Target. Let's just say we got our money's worth out of it.

So lesson learned right? Check the diaper bag before you leave and make sure that, even though you put diapers in there 3 days ago, it is not unreasonable to think you might need to restock. Granted, I've been packing a diaper bag for the better part of four years so you'd think I would have mastered this particular skill, but we all have our weaknesses. Remembering crucial details happens to be mine.

Later that night, we were in the car on the way to my cousin's rehearsal dinner. We were almost there and I open the diaper bag to pull out a snack for Simeon. Guess what's not in there. Are you kidding me? Am I the world's most idiotic mother or what? How do you have such a close call mere hours earlier and then not learn your lesson? Not my best day.

But once again, no major crisis ensued. Thank God for the absorbency of the modern-day diaper. And we avoided the situation ,both times, that would make needing a new diaper absolutely essential.

And wouldn't it be great if that were the end of this post.

Kris, the boys, and I went to The Woodlands mall yesterday to exchange my phone after the previous days unfortunate events. I dropped Kris off at the door because we were running late and I parked and was supposed to meet him up at the food court to feed our children a nutritious dinner. I was getting Simeon out of his car seat when I caught a faint whiff of something not-so-fresh. So I begin to change this diaper and I open my bag and I dig around for a replacement.

Well, the good news was I did have wipes.

So in the parking lot of the mall with Thing 1 and Thing 2 as my assistants, and all the efficiency that that implies, I manage to make the diaper "wearable." I decide I just need to clean it as best as I can, line it with wipes, and then get inside and give the big boys to Kris so I can find another diaper. We find Kris. Incidentally, he is receiving excellent customer service at the Apple store and a new iPhone, so at least there was that. I tell him I am going to walk down to Gymboree because I had no clue what to do and a children's store seemed like the right place to start.

I walked towards the store, keeping my eye out for someone I could approach. I spot a mom with a child in a stroller that appeared to be about the same size as Simeon. And I swallowed my pride and asked her if I could have a diaper. Because this is my first baby and I'm still getting the hang of it. I didn't really say that but that's the tone of voice I was going for. She graciously gives me one and we share a laugh about what a moron I am and then I slip into Gymboree and change my poor child's diaper on the floor in the back of the store. And then I fed him a grilled cheese from Sonic for dinner. And then I kept him up way past his bedtime.

And this morning, the sun still came up and Simeon still greeted me with a huge smile. He definitely does not have a mom that has it all together. But he doesn't seem to mind.

But he has requested that I remember diapers from now on.


Cheryl said...

You are so not a beepin rock star from Mars. And that is seriously one of the funniest stories I have ever read. You'd think you were pregnant again with that amount memory loss going on.
A children's store - definitely a smart move.
And seriously. There is something about the third that makes you feel like a first time mom all over again. I'm glad I'm not alone. ;)

Alli said...

You know I'm laughing out loud. (And, nah. They don't usually mind.)

hilarylarson said...

Cannot.stop.laughing. I love it!

Patti said...

I think the millions of questions that would have surely poured forth from my Things 1 & 2 would have been enough to make my head explode--but WHERE is the diaper and WHERE are you going to put that poop and WHY are you putting those wipes IN there and WHY is it still so smelly and WHAT is Daddy going to say about it and WHY didn't you bring a diaper???

Fun with you ladies (and little gentlemen) today!!!

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