Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Things I Learned Whilst Spinning

We just joined a new gym in our area. It is really close to our house and offers lots of neat classes, a rock wall, awesome pools, and many other amenities. And thanks to Cheryl, we were able to get a great deal on our membership. I thought this would be a great opportunity to lose the rest of the baby weight, get in shape, and have a pool to take the boys to this summer.

So I have been slowly easing back into the world of activity. I'm limited right now on what classes I can take because I don't want to leave Jude in the nursey until cold and flu season is over. So I am just trying out classes here and there as I get the chance.

Last night, I decided to try spinning. Kris was very sweet and offered to bathe the boys and get them into bed while I went to the class. I've been wanting to go, so I took him up on his offer and headed to the gym.

I will now impart to you my newly gained knowledge that I acquired during this class.

1. An hour is a freaking long time if you have not been on a bike since the early 90's.

2. If it is your first time in a class like this, you will naturally want to use a bike that is towards the back of the studio. However, you should not pick a back-row bike that is on the opposite side of the studio as the exit. Because when you realize that you are about to die, you will want to make a fast and inconspicuous exit but will be unable to do so without looking like a total out-of-shape moran. Even if you are one, you don't want to look like it.

3. Wear appropriate biking attire. Your tennis shorts from college would not fall into this category. I'm not exactly sure what would be the best outfit choice, but I can assure you it was not what I was wearing.

4. I am a victim of all of the "green" propaganda because as I was furiously pedaling (and maybe or maybe not turning my dial to add resistance) I thought that they should hook these bikes up to some sort of generator and harness all of the energy to power the gym. Al Gore would be proud. And I make it a point never to make Al Gore proud.

5. If it is your first time to take this class, you should ask some questions beforehand regarding optimal seat and handle bar height. Don't play it cool. Don't act like you know what the heck you are doing. You have spit-up on your shirt and are wearing shorts from college. No one is fooled so you might as well ask for some help. Your butt will thank you. (I know mine would have.)

6. Picking the bike behind skinny girl with her very own cycling shoes will just tick you off.

7. You might have to purpose in your heart, somewhere around minute 15, that you're new goal is to just survive. In this case, ignore it when peppy Kimberly tells you to turn your dial and add resistance. Just keep pedaling. No one will know.

8. Peppy Kimberly will also tell you to get "up off the saddle." She crazy. You should not do this if you have made the resolution outlined in point #7. Just keep sitting.

9. The hour will eventually draw to a close. When this happens, wipe off your bike, get your water bottle, and hobble on out of there. Try to restrict your remarks to the weather because you will not be able to think of one nice thing to say about Peppy Kimberly or what she just put you through.

I think that about sums it up. I think I will look for a water aerobics class for the 65+ crowd next time.

17 comments:

Kathy Hill said...

Spinning is killer. After my first class, while I was trying to be cool and get the heck out of there, I hear my husband yell from across the gym, "Wow! You're purple!!" Thanks. ps. I hope you got some of those padded shorts. Your butt will thank you for that too.

Carrie Murphy said...

Jamie this is hilarious. I've always wanted to try spinning. Maybe I won't. :)

Cheerios said...

getting "out of the saddle" (stupid word for it) actually requires less energy if you can get past the first couple rotations and get your legs to stop throbbing. i welcome it when they say stand up cause it uses different muscles.

Becca said...

wow!! I'm proud of you. I've heard those spinning classes are killers. You should be OH SO proud that you even finished it.

Asher & Jude's Mamoo said...

Jamie, you should have called me, I feel pretty sure I could have talked you out of spinning class. Be careful, water aerobics will kick your butt too...and remember, better to be shamed by perky kimberly than some 75 year old who can paddle circles around you in the pool....trust me on this one.

Mandy Crowell said...

Oh my gosh, I am laughing so hard..stupid peppy Kimberlys..they're everywhere..

Kevin and Misty said...

Oh yes spin class...I agree with your wonderful thoughts, but find #6 the most truthful/appropriate.

Traci said...

I have respect for ANYONE who can finish a spinning class. Kudos to you. I would've left at minute 15.

Katelin and Jason Boles said...

you crack me up!! i love your blogs and they way you write. let me know how the water areobics goes!

Lis said...

Where do I sign up!!!!???? ;)
So you are going next week, right!? Don't let "peppy Kimberly" get in the way of you having a great "arse!!!"
You gave up Diet Cokes....YOU can do THIS!!!!!!! :)

Your description put a big ole' grin on my face--thank you for sharing the experience! :)

hilarylarson said...

LOL - yes, spinning is pain, literally. Also, did you really give up diet coke? I am impressed b/c after spinning and 2 liters of water, i need my diet coke!

Jamie Rives said...

HECK NO I didn't give up diet coke! I didn't have any while I was trapped in the house with sick kiddos. So my friend Lis took that to mean I was off of it. This, unfortunately, is not the case :)

Lis said...

So, you didn't do it!!!!?????? Ugh, I was so excited for you!!! ;) I still believe you can keep up with "peppy Kimberly!!!"

jenni said...

Jamie, you are hilarious! Cannot wait to meet in person. :)

hilarylarson said...

Good - i feel much better that you are still hooked like me. :)

thelittlefields said...

I remember my first spin class in college that I had to attend for another class. Most of what you said fit my experience. My step aerobic classes were just as terrible...no they were worse. --Dirk

Meeka said...

jamie, laura told me about this post so i had to read it... you are so funny! spinning is my friday torture. really. i go every friday & pretty much hate it every friday, so i figure it is doing something good for me!

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