Wednesday, November 15, 2006

27 Going on 13

I still feel 13 most of the time. I am amazed that I am allowed to be married and have a job and own a home and have a baby because, inside, I so do not feel like a grown-up. Should I be worried? I mean, I am turning 27 in 3 days, but it feels like I am really just fooling everybody. Ha! You just think I am a grown-up! I'm really still in junior high worried about what people think of me and looking forward to the day that I can drive a car (It still amazes me that I have a license sometimes...just to show you the depths of my inner struggles.)

I look at my husband (and I look at my belly!) and I realize that, regardless of how it feels, growing up actually happened to me, but for some reason, it doesn't feel the way that I thought it would. I'm not sure what I was anticipating. Maybe that's part of the problem. Maybe I was thinking that you change from "you" to a completely different person when you grow up and so when I stayed "me," I got confused. I'm just an older, taller, slightly more informed version of me at 13. Scarlily the same, scarily different.

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